of not enjoying the good things
of being made to feel guilty
of not knowing why I feel something
of letting words hurt me
of letting the lack of words hurt me
of being ignored
of my acts of kindness not being cared about
of past traumas harming my present
of fighting the world for a few moments of happiness
of my reaching out being slapped away
of not being good enough for anyone or anything
of the permanent kick me sign on my back
of wanting
of needing
of being talked to, not with
of being wrong
of only being sought out when someone needs a favor
of not being desirable
of a few nice words not making up for one offense word
of saying the wrong thing
of explaining or not being able to explain what I meant to say or feel
of trying to interpret the words of others
of pretending to be ok
of a world that fosters prejudice, pain, hate and working to the point of neglecting oneself and others
of allowing the negitive to outweigh the positive
of the highs and lows of my mind, body, heart and soul
.....of being me.